what dread hand

I am Fanshawe, I trust you with this;
to do as you will, as you know that you must.
Remember to forget me.

(But you can call me Al.)

My mental stages as I get closer and closer to a deadline
• calmness
• panic
• procastination
• panic
• frantic reading
• apathy

I'm at "apathy" now.

I dislike most people in fandom and I dislike most fic in fandom.

I think icons are pointless and most fanart is bad.

Most people write meta that reads as thus: "Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla BLA BLA bla bla. Bla bla? Bla! Bla bla bla." In other words: "Wow, you people sure talk a lot without saying anything."

I believe that the vast majority of BNFs become BNFs by acting like BNFs, meaning by acting as though what they and their friends do is important and worthwhile. I'm not going to say that it's not, but seeing as this is fandom and not the UN, I'd wager half my book collection that 98% of it probably isn't either important or worthwhile.

Most fics written by BNFs and "acclaimed" in fandom make me go "zzzzzz". In a similar fashion, I have not once in my life agreed with a fic rec. I'd rather have entertaining badfic than just passable goodfic.

Why am I writing this? Because I accidentally stumbled over the most self-important meme in the history of fandom and was masochistic enough to follow the tagging to read even more of the answers.

Fandom is bad in general but surely worst when it's self-important, because then it's a complete bore. Barf.

ETA: In order to fend off the "ur just jelus" comments preemptively, I have actually gotten 50+ comments on a single post. I don't give a flying fuck about other people's alleged popularity; I enjoy being unremarkable.

Yesterday evening I was so bored, and I don't mean bored with my surroundings but with myself, my own brain unable to conjure up anything that I found even remotely interesting or entertaining, which is quite a rare occurance for someone like me who has been used to entertaining myself since I was a little child and am usually annoyed when people try to ruin the fun I'm making for myself. It happens once every few years but it's equally unnerving every time. In some ways it's worse than the spurts of depression (which I haven't had for so long, come to think of it -- amazing) because I rely heavily on myself to give me the things that I want to see. So I went to bed early after a late dinner and was even bored by sleeping. But I'm better now.

Intelligent ZQ is intelligent. And I like the French, they take visual entertainment seriously and ask good questions. Part of why I wanted as many of my favorite cast members as possible to come to Europe, but noooooooo.

Apparently when I'm bored I make icons, which I remembered just now when I looked into my graphics folder. They were so unmemorable that I had honestly forgotten about them.

Pretty SR is pretty.

And oh, yesterday before I got bored I also made another header for heroes_rps though it sort of needs the context of the layout to work. But: pink!

Zoo was fun, though not in the expected way. We were a group of fourth-graders and three adults: myself, the guy from my course that I'm doing teaching practise with, and a male teacher.

We were touching mice. They were very cute. One of them peed on my partner's hands.

Me: Hahaha, ewww!
Him: That's so rude ...
Teacher: Rude indeed! That's not a mouse you want to befriend.
Him: Yeah, I have to say I cut all ties with friends who pee on me.
Me: As well you should, it's not very nice to pee on a friend without asking permission first.
Teacher: *cracks the hell up*
Him: I know. I don't cut ties with those who ask permission first.
Me: As well you shouldn't.

Then we all cracked up. Later, the batteries of the camera wore off.

Teacher: *grumbles*
Me: Did you know you can rub those and they'll recharge?
Him: What?
Me: If you rub a battery between a piece of cloth. Then you can use it for a bit again.
Him: You mean it'll recharge fully?
Me: No, just a bit.
Him: What if I bring it to bed and rub it all night?
Me: *cracks the hell up*
Him: What!

I don't think I'm fit to become a teacher. It did make me realize how much I enjoy being an adult, though; so many more stupid jokes to be cracked. But anyway, this was just procastination and I'll be off again now.

Ela-tan, what do you want for your birthday?

And Jenn, what do you want for Christmas so I can show my gratitude for the Z!NK you sent me (among other things)?

And Kat, what can I get you for that awesome Mohinder pic?

What? What? WHAT? GUYS I'M SO LOST GUYS TELL ME

... I'll go watch Chuck now.

Hi there again, TWoP people! *waves*

... orz

... I just made plans for Tuesday completely forgetting that's Heroes day for me. Dammit, Heroes, how do you dare make me forget by sucking for so long, then turn good! I'll need to come up with a good excuse.

Yesterday I was told I have to work on the 24th and the 31st. Because I'm the second-most experienced person in that place. AS IF THERE WILL BE ANYTHING TO DO. Except on the 31st we'll be making an inventory.

WTF. WTF. WTF. WHY.

Also, my back hurts. Whine. I'll go tidy up now, and then type up stuff for the presentation tomorrow. Whiiiiiine. If you see me online, please distract me.

ETA: The item I find most often while tidying up and going through my stuff is pieces of clothing I haven't worn in years (if ever). Today, I found this:

Zach wouldn't approve. (It needs more pink.)

Also, I transferred pictures from my camera for the first time in months, so have the view from my window:

Naked trees against the evening sky is one of my favorite things. I love this tree, especially in the winter.

(I don't clearly remember, but I actually think the smoky stuff in the left side of the first pic isn't fog but rather smoke from the riots and demonstations they've been here for the last months.)