what dread hand

And randomly, before I leave, what is it about Claire that makes her the fandom bicycle?

No, honest question. What part of her character makes people want to write her in bed with the entire male cast and half the female?

That's some batshittery.

Can't decide if I love or loathe this fandom. On one side, it is not quite sane. On the other, it is eternally amusing.

LOOK!

You're so notorious famous!

I was reading a Peter/Mohinder parody-ish thing of Romeo and Juliet, and when Hiro and Ando spoke in it I kept translating their lines in my head.

And now I want a slash fic where Hiro and Ando stand around commenting on every stupid slashy thing that happens in the story. As such:

Peter: *declares undying love for Simone*

ヒロ 「ねえねえ、ピーターってホモじゃなかったの？」
アンドー 「うーん・・・」

Mohinder: *walks by*
Peter: *declares undying love for Mohinder*

ヒロ 「ほら、やっぱり」
アンドー 「だな」

Sylar: *walks by, kicks Peter's ass, and drags Mohinder away*

ヒロ 「ここってホモばっかりだね」
アンドー 「だからニューヨークなんかに来るの嫌だったんだよ。あのインド人、助けなくていいのか？」
ヒロ 「まんざらでもなさそうだけど」
アンドー 「頭が痛くなってきた」

Etc.

ETA: OH BY THE WAY! For my birthday, I want fic. Preferably about Mohinder's nipples. Thank you.

What I was randomly rambling about yesterday. If you hold your mouse over the Japanese text, a box with the translation should appear. I can't tell if it works. It'll surely be a huge bother to read the translations.

----------------------

「アンドー君って女の子が好きだったんじゃなかったの！？」

「好きさ！それとこれとは関係ないだろ」

「あるよ、絶対あるよ！あの人顔はハンサム・・・」 Hiro tilted his head, looking at Mohinder's profile as he ordered a cup of tea. 「って言うか確かに綺麗かもしれないけど、ほら、ばっちり無精髭まではやしてるじゃないか！」

「分かってるよ」

「背なんかアンドー君より高いじゃない！」

「分かってるってば」

「む、む、む・・・」 Hiro blushed furiously as he tripped over the word. 「胸なんかないよ！？」

「うっるさいなお前は！」

----------------------

Now, back to studying. See you Friday!

ETA irrelevant to rest of post: it's funny how in a large amount of fic (I'm tempted to say the majority but that's probably not true), Sylar actually does come out of the shadow to say, "Hello, Mohinder." It's like the people writing it aren't really aware of the implication and the joke. So funny. I mean, I'll be reading a fic and it'll otherwise be completely serious and straight, but then Sylar will go "Hello, Mohinder" and I'll be snorting so hard my nostrils hurt.

Previously there was something brain-breaking above, but I changed the image so you can all feel safer.

The original entry:

Now that I'm FREEEEEE (although not really. There's still work and family obligations) and no longer feel pressure to leave the computer and fandom in order to accomplish things vaguely more important ...

... I no longer feel the deep and nagging feeling to write or draw.

Oh, universe. You do assrape me, every single time.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

(Actually I saw that fic yesterday night, but didn't really bother reading the notes on it till I got up just now, and immediately my brain went into a "OH NO YOU DIDN'T" freeze. I might need to get a different icon for my "I'm being silly" comments. Or is this a happy "oh yah i r famus!!!" moment? I'm not very good with fandom.)

(Also, a while ago someone else expressed a desire to do a vid based on the icon. It sure gets around.)

Warning: established D/s relationship

I don't have much to say to this, aside melodramatically lamenting over whyyy whyyy whyyy fandom continues to have such different interpretations of these characters than I do, nearly rendering it impossibly for me to read any fic. It boils down to this:

Mohinder is not a sub. Mohinder does not get off on being dominated, however much Sylar might get off on trying to dominate him (which I firmly believe is canon). Sylar would more likely be a sub than Mohinder. If you want established D/s, write Nathan/Peter. That's canon, whether they may be having sex along with it or not.

Addendum: Perhaps I should clarify. The reason this bothers me more than what is perhaps sane is that I see S/M as a relationship between two doms struggling for dominance, as clearly evidenced in 1x18, and this is precisely why I enjoy them as a pairing.

I just sent off a fic for preliminary reading, or "beta"-ing, or whatever one wishes to call it.

For the first time in my life, in fact! As odd as that may sound.

It makes my tummy hurt. Posting fic to larger audiences doesn't even make my tummy hurt. (Well, not anymore, at least. It used to.) Quick, distract me!

ETA which might or might not be more interesting than the rest of this entry: I don't hope Sylar really is being driven by an evolutionary or biological imperative (I enjoy the notion of free will), but if he were, there's no reason to write fic about it because that's been explored fully by Togashi: Level E, end of volume one. See? Another reason every person on the planet should read Level E.

... why is the network wonky exactly when there is awesome fic posted for me to read?

Someone wrote Mopson. I'm not sure whether I'm happy or sad about this. On one hand, now I don't have to. On the other hand, now I don't have to! It's probably good too, the fic, if I could only GET TO READ IT. Fucking instable fucking wireless fuck ... I only have two hours left of paid time, damn you, no time left to mess around with this shit! Which reminds me I won't be back Saturday, but rather Sunday. Blah.

And I realize this is childish, but a ZQ/SR fic Jenn sent me utilized a smut plot point I wanted to use, and of course it was hot and fun and I loved reading it and guh! but now I'm irrationally sad that I won't have to write that fic, either.

Damn, it sucks to be away. People write all the fic you intended to (and probably much better than you ever would have, as annoying as that is). Though this has been my pet theory about fandom for a while, really, that it's a symbiotic being which self-regulates and is full of synchronicity, just like "real" society. If you don't write a fic, someone else will. If you don't start up a community, someone else will. If you don't think of a piece of meta, someone else will. The notion of originality really is a delusion, especailly in fandom, and that's why it makes so little sense to talk about any particular person or group of people "founding" fandom. If they hadn't done it, some other people would have and fandom would have run its course regardless. Self-imposed authority is so incedibly rediculous ... and randomly reminds me of the feud between Newton and Leibniz re: calculus. That was some fun shit. Oh Newton, you BNF wanker, you.

And that reminds me that I found something spork-worthily lulz that I wanted to show people before I left, but had no time to do so. Lalala.

heroes_rps fic exchange when the season 1 DVD comes out y/n? I know that seems out of left field but I've been thinking about it for days now. I can't decide if it should be secret-santa style (anonymous posting) or not.

I talk about fic too much. I'm sorry. I'll start talking about ... uh, like, canon when I actually have access to it. I guess.

I finally finished Jurrasic Park. It seems I had repressed its epilogue, because I had seriously forgotten the clear mention that Dr. Malcolm died. Wah, retcon! I agree far too much with Malcolm's philosophy on life and the planet, but that's probably because I devoured this stuff when I was 13.

I bought and started The Hours, and both its descriptions of the euphoria of writing and the dread of depression is so real that I was depressed myself by page 40. I'm not sure I can finish it. I know this is a good book (as much is evident from what, the first five pages?), but I'm at a stage in my life where I prefer superficial and pointless fun to deep and meaningful anguish. Because I mean ... if I look at life, at anything but its surface, there's really no choice left but for me to walk into the ocean and drown. I'm not saying this to be shocking or interesting (I'm not that young); I honestly just don't see an alternative. What can you do, seriously, when a loving family and the incredibly blessed circumstances of your life isn't what you want, however much you wish that it were, and unbearing pain overcomes you when you think about getting out of bed? This book reminded me of this, and for that I'll put it away. I'm having superficial fun in life now and haven't been suicidal for years, thank you very much. I'm pass puberty where nothing is good or true unless it hurts, or something else equally stupid.

That was rambly and probably made very little sense. Please disrgard it as notes to myself.

I haven't been mean fandom meta-y in a while, so let's have one of those.

Yesterday I found and read the first ever Sylar/Mohinder mpreg (one meant in earnest; the one about the egg doesn't count, and besides that one was good). Or maybe it wasn't the first, but it was sure the first one I found, and I remember getting all giddy when I saw its warnings of mpreg, rape, violence, etc., because I'm both mean (I was looking forward to it sucking) and morbid (I love rapefic) like that.

And it was sort of really really bad, which was to be expected, but it was bad in a sort of "... Have you ever watched this show? Do you know who Mohinder and Sylar are? Are you sure you're not mistaking them for two extras of QaF US called Mark and Simon? And why is Mohinder cracking jokes about Sylar eating brains and giggling about it?!" way that makes you morbidly curious about the continuation. Or maybe that's just me. But at any rate the author was the typical ff.net-type fanbrat who begs for comments and says she'll post the next part when she gets some, so I wanted to leave a comment to encourage her to post the next part soon. But I couldn't. Because I didn't want anyone seeing that I had commented on that fic.

You know what I need? I need a sockpuppet for leaving comments on badfic. Or, at least, "guilty pleasure" fic. Because feedback isn't about whether you like a fic or not, it's as much a way of maintaining an internal power-balance and status in fandom, a symbolic gesture of strategy. If you and your friend have a clique and you make fun of a certain kind of fic, you're not going to comment on that kind of fic however well-written it may be or however much you like it. Similarily, people are much more likely to leave flattering comments to fic by people they recognize and see in a positive light, not because the fic is better or worse than the average but because there is a desire to form a symbolic connection with the writer which isn't present when the writer is a newbie or completely unknown. It's cliques, it's high school. So what should you do if you want more feedback? You shouldn't work on your fic, oh no, you should write passable fic, post it consistently once to four times a month, pimp your name like mad, and act nice to anyone you meet. But then after a while people will begin to talk behind your back because you're so "fake".

And unrelated to all that: stop. wearing. catears. in. PUBLIC! And stop wearing tee-shirts proclaiming your love for manga-boys sexing, while you're at it. I hate otaku, so much.

I keep seeing people talk about this fic, which is odd because when I posted it, I got like ... five comments, tops, and that made me lose faith in my writing for a bit and I couldn't re-read it for the life of me for the longest time. Sort of interesting, in a way. (I have re-read it now, a few times, and I think it's kind of a clever and neat fic, so it's not that I'm complaining.)

The "gen week" at the ficathon at mylar_fic is seriously confusing me. I mean, they're all ... the fic are all so ... shippy.

I admit I was more than slightly confused when the ficathon had a "gen week" at all (though not as confused as I was by the "fluff week"), because mylar_fic is sort of, y'know, a shippy community? I suppose none of the rules dictate that stuff must be shippy in order to be posted there, which in theory means that non-shippy Mo&Sy fic is allowed, so I thought that maybe with "gen week" they meant antagonism without sexual tention, crack friendship, Mohinder the mad scientist experimenting on Sylar his subject without any sexual overtones what-so-ever no sir, stuff like that. I thought hey, I guess that makes sense.

But um. No. It's all shippy. And it's making me think I've got the definition of "gen" wrong. When did "gen" become a term or G-rated fic? Or even (what we used to call) preslash? Isn't gen = non-shippy? No?

A touch of innocence.
The company has hired Mohinder to help cure Molly Walker of a virus. Left as her unofficial guardian, the geneticist finds himself questioning his moral boundaries. COMPLETE,M/F,Minor,Oneshot

Kill me.

ETA: Hmmmm, Mohinder/Lupin.

I watched some of American Idol yesterday (it was a re-run, I think? I wasn't paying attention much, I was waiting for Ugly Betty), and thought that when it comes to fanfic, I'm like Simon Cowell.

Which is the lamest thing in the world to be Simon Cowell about, but I can't help it.

My opinion of Simon Cowell is that he's not actually trying to be rude, though. Just honest about things he can't lie about because he cares. And for the lulz.

ETA: My coffee is too thin and the right corner of my lips hurt this morning. I weep.

If I read one more Matt/Mohinder fanfic pushing "the gay agenda", I will break something.

No, I don't need to be preached about how God Loves All and Homosexual Couples Are Great Parents through fanfic utilizing horrible stereotypes of the most deeply ignorant and bigoted Christians as blatant "villains", only to portray our gay heroes as the most loving, sensible, open-minded, and finest human beings in the world and the best examples of parents ever. To end with a self-satisfied note of "Hah, THAT sure showed them!"

For the record, I'm not Christian (or religious) and I fully support the right of homosexual couples to adopt. I'm talking about infuriatingly clichéd propaganda fiction. Doesn't make it less bad writing that I happen to agree with the agenda being pushed. And yeah, fighting one stereotype with another is always a great idea and sure to win everyone over!

It's depressing, and what's even more depressing is the number of times I've heard people say they don't even try to read Sylar/Mohinder fic anymore because they're drowning in crap.

If I were prepared to be called an elitist bitch, I'd make an elitist and bitchy invite-only community of people I know to write S/M fic that doesn't feature punctuation-abuse, character abuse of Molly, fluff for the sake of it, or Sylar redemption through MPD. But elitist invite-only communities suck and are wanky, and even wanky bitches like me think they're lame, so I won't.

Instead I'm thinking of making a list of readable S/M fics, not a rec list of fic I personally happen to like but a list of fics that meet a strictly objective criteria in both technique and characterization. But the backlog of S/M is so fucking huuuuuuuge, I'd give up within the hour just like I gave up when I wanted to make a list of S/M rapefic. And I'm saying that as someone who has read 95% of all S/M fic at least once (they just tend to slip from memory so I'd need to read them again to judge anyway). I'd need accomplices ...

Meep.

Best Peter/Claire fic I've ever read.

No, really. Try it. Make sure to finish it. And I'm sure anonymous feedback is appreciated.

lol what. Though it probably won't evolve much, sadly. It'd be interesting to see!

ETA: Forgive me, father, for I have wanked. I promise never to go near this girl again. I should have ended it sooner, at any rate, seeing as the topic was being avoided by the fourth comment, but I blame Anna. She's a temptress.

In other news I had apparently agreed to go to a thing tonight which I forgot all about in the meanwhile, and I was just rung up by a guy asking me where I was. I ... do this kind of thing embarrassingly often.

Bad news: Some of my professors are there, and I don't feel like explaining myself to anyone right now.
Good news: Some of my professors are there, and it might actually be a good idea for me to talk about stuff. Preferably while drunk.

Will be off in an hour or so.

A couple of days ago I posted a Mo and Molly genfic to my own server with an anonymous mail form at the end in case any reader wanted to leave a comment. Mostly because my LJ-phobia seems to be growing every day, for whatever odd reason, and I thought that I might as well try this style of fic-posting once to see what would happen. Anyway, I got this in the mail this morning:

You probably don't want to hear it from me, but I thought this was beautiful.

...? I don't even know who you are! I have more than one enemy, please don't make me choose just one. But thanks for commenting though apparently we hate each other's guts! ...I guess!

I've decided to make a list of any and all fanfic that portrays Maya in a positive light -- you know what scratch that, I'm satisfied as long as she's treated as a human being with thoughts and emotions.

• Sylinder: the sitcom part one, part three (Sylar/Mohinder)
• untitled drabble #4 (Sylar/Mohinder)
• The Geography of Grief (Mohinder/Maya)
• Ayuda (Mohinder/Maya)

And at this point I realized I don't want to read Sylar/Maya. Erm. Maybe I'll get to it one day.